Fear of...

Hello, Ladies and Germs. 

A thought has been percolating through the twit recesses of my mind in recent weeks. In the last two and a half weeks I have been more productive in my writing than I have been in the past several months before that. I think November was the last time I was really productive on my writing. 

And I've been wondering why. I mean, I could blame family troubles, work troubles, financial troubles, and any number of other things for my lack of motivation or willingness to let days slide by me without doing any writing at all. And, truth be told there are times when these things happen. But that doesn't explain ALL the time that has been wasted that could have been spent writing. 

If I had been writing at the pace I've been working over the last 18 days I would probably have between three and five completed books in revision and editing stages. Instead,  I have one that I finished the first draft of just before starting this collaborative project with AJ Downey. 

But Why? Seriously. Why do we, and I include other writers in this, why do we tend to procrastinate? Not all of us of course because I know some individuals that write a ridiculous amount. Mind Boggling. Really.  So why?

I think I've hit on an answer. At least the answer for me. 

There are two reasons for me, personally, to find excuses to avoid writing and finishing the projects that I have begun. 

Number one. Fear of Failure. It should be the title of a medical condition. Fear of Failure. If I work on this and if I finish it, what if I fail? What if it doesn't do well or people don't like it? I'll have wasted all that time and effort I put into it. I don't want to do that, right? 

Forget it. Fear of Failure is a crock. Yeah. One might fail. Something might not be well received. Something might not be loved by the masses. Big deal. Was writing to be a smash success the only reason you were writing? If that's true then get out now. You're in the wrong business, Cupcake.

Reason number two for procrastinating in my writing. Fear of Success. 

Yes, Fear of Success, another medical term (or it should be). I wrote this book. I published this book. It's a HUGE smash. Everyone loves it. I've got fans sending me letters about how much they enjoyed my work. 

Well now what? Now I should write another book. But now the bar has been set higher. People are going to expect another book to be just as good as the first, if not better. If it's not as good will I lose the fans I gained? Will people send me hate mail instead of fan mail? Now, a failure won't affect just me, there are people with expectations that I just might disappoint and that's a difficult thing to face.

Well I have decided that this is a crock too. I have also decided that I have been terrified to be successful. Especially because I have seen and am still learning just how much work will be required to even start to make a living as a writer. To earn enough money to feed my kids and care for my family and if you don't try it's just easier, right?

Not any more. I would like to take this opportunity to thank AJ Downey for the swift kick in the ass that she delivered to my motivation. I've never felt more positive about myself and my future as a writer. I'm excited for this collaborative book and for the many other books that I have in the works. It's going to be a wild ride and I'm holding on for the whole thing.